Tired today

I had mt dental appointment this morning. It is a new surgery I am registering to. The dentist x-rayed my jaw and pointed out that there is decay (I have not been to the dentists for a while, a lot to do with finances at the time as findin an NHS denatl practice is like trying to find needle in a haystack)
The dentist very kindly put some very cold cotton wool on the affected tooth and started the throbbin g pain again (thanks Mrs dentist!)
I was then told by the receptionist that I would get the fillings done on 30th Jan…OVER A WEEK AWAY!!!!
Now I have bought some straws and will be very careful with hot and cold meals/drinks as when it hits the spot…..OUCH!!!
I am feeling so tired today as well due to Ladies problems. I feel so drained, exhausted, this may be due to the upset over the last few days as well.
I visited mt cousin today and it was good to hear someone elses problems for a change.
I am seeing my GP tomorrow and have a rieki session on 28th Jan which I am looking forward to.

Quiet day

It has been a quiet day for me today. I went to see my sister and went out to eat this evening with some friends from work. I don’t feel as down as I did yesterday and have got an appointment with my GP to see if I can take a few days off work to get back to how I felt. I will call McMillan nurses tomorrow and also get a Rieki session organised at my local mustard tree centre. I know that when I had the session before, it did help a lot.
The children have been very supportive and make me feel stronger every day.
I have found a new challenge, to walk into the appointment with my oncologist in July feeling as fit and well as I do now.
Let battle commence….!

Back home

Well….that didn’t last long. I got to work and lasted 1 ½ hours. After listening to a customer blame the company for his missing contacts on his phone and swearing at me saying “you removed my contacts” which wouldn'r happen unless he had a sim swap or replacement. (He means “you” as the company but it just felt so personel as if he really blamed me for it).
He insisted he hadn’t and still saying “you did it” and swearing some more I had had enough.
My team are brilliant and I have other friends in there who are not on my team who are also brilliant. My Team leader was ok with me leaving and I told him I will see my GP tomorrow.

I have to get myself out of this black abyss I have fallen into and get back to seeing my future again.
I have weighed myself and I am 9 st which is not underweight for me infact (trust the onco to be right!),all the medical info about weight/height would say I am overweight as the ideal weight for me is 8st 7lbs.

I will keep myself busy by helping the ex move out, taking care of my little cat who is still very ill and looking forward to decorating my house to sell it and get my new one.

My cat and I make a great pair…we share the same sofa….the sick sofa : )

Back to work

I am returning to work today as I want to try and pull myself back together after the news I got on Friday.
I feel lke I am mourning a loss, absoutely gutted. I honestly did feel that I had gained some of my future back for it to be snatched away again. i can’t give up on me and am going to try and concentrate on being positive and sailing into July feeling like I do now.
I have to do this for my children, they keep me going.
If it wasn’t for them I would probably give up now.
I don’t want to fail, I want to live and that is the frustrating part because nothing is around at the moment to combat this enemy.

Mouse 5 is the new hope

I found this link while looking at cures for Mesothelioma. It is quite interesting.
Only problem is that it is still in research stage and it is in Australia which means the UK won’t get a chance for a long time, like every other treatment.
Australia and the USA are using immune therapy which has shown time and time again that it works.

Why isn’t it here ???

Why do I have to sit back and except the diagnosis of my oncologist who has given up on any chance of survival?

http://www.smh.com.au/news/Health/Research-offers-hope-of-cure-for-mesothelioma/2004/11/24/1101219620087.html

The other link is about the “devils apple” which is the fruit the compoud was extracted from and is very interesting reading.

http://www.cosmosmagazine.com/node/471

http://www.coramsine.org/

This article does bring with it hope, which is what we all want but have to travel too far to get.

I have also ordered a product I came across called Zeolite. I am going to try it as it oxygenates the blood and oxygen is known to kill of cancer cells.

http://www.liquid-zeolite.co.uk/?gclid=CPXZ2PH2gZECFQppQgodOiciFw

I am determined to try and beat this disease and am still on my mission to find something that works.

Fluffy's tip

I am going to take some useful tips from Suzanne’s cat , Fluffy and relax. (Fluffy very kindly agreed to appear on the site)

As you can see, the art of relaxation has been practiced well and Fluffy is now a black belt. Fluffy wants to pass on these excercises to all who visit the site. You need a cardboard box and very good balancing skills.

This will be me very soon I hope : )

Thanks Fluffy your a star. X

CT result number 5

Not good news …..Theo has grown.
I feel so gutted and let down as I don’t feel any different. My oncologist was not his usual positive self and asked me how I felt was I more breathless, had I lost weight? I have lost weight but I put that down to no sugar, dairy and lower yeast intake. I was around 10 stone and he thinks I am 9 stone now. I will weigh myself to find out tomorrow. He told me it had grown since the last scan which was 4 months ago.
My oncologist was also telling me about some 18 year olds who get melanoma and about a local man who was killed in a car accident yesterday and made me aware they were younger than me. I got the feeling he was telling me I should be grateful for what I have.
I am grateful but that does not mean I have to give up like I feel he is.
I don’t feel very breathless, same as before and feel very well. I am active and am not going to accept this as I didn’t with the oncologist before him who told me I had 6 - 9 months.
I told him how angry I was that there was no cure and I was expected to sit back and accept it which, I feel, is so cruel. This is no fault of my own as it is no fault of every other person who get this Awful disease.
I need to get myself positive again. I have a cat that is dying and have to sort out a new house and all the stresses that go with it.
I am still trying to get my head around it all and it is difficult.

Just another informative link from Suzanne, who finds such great links. Thanks Suzanne, keep them coming.

http://www.thisisthenortheast.co.uk/display.var.1967948.0.cancer_victims_launch_film_bid_to_change_law.php